What Is Happiness, Really?
We talk about happiness constantly. We measure it, chase it, optimize for it, and quietly worry that we're doing it wrong. But what if happiness isn't what we think it is? What if our very pursuit of it reveals a fundamental misunderstanding about its nature?
The question becomes more complex when we examine our assumptions. Is happiness a feeling, a judgment about our lives, or something else entirely? Can we pursue it directly, or does it only arrive when we're aimed at something beyond ourselves? And what's the relationship between the happiness we're told to want and what actually makes life feel worth living?
Our conversation will explore:
Is happiness something we find or something that finds us?
What's the difference between happiness, joy, and meaning?
Why does focusing on happiness sometimes make it disappear?
What if happiness isn't the point at all?
What Is Happiness, Really?
We talk about happiness constantly. We measure it, chase it, optimize for it, and quietly worry that we're doing it wrong. But what if happiness isn't what we think it is? What if our very pursuit of it reveals a fundamental misunderstanding about its nature?
The question becomes more complex when we examine our assumptions. Is happiness a feeling, a judgment about our lives, or something else entirely? Can we pursue it directly, or does it only arrive when we're aimed at something beyond ourselves? And what's the relationship between the happiness we're told to want and what actually makes life feel worth living?
Our conversation will explore:
Is happiness something we find or something that finds us?
What's the difference between happiness, joy, and meaning?
Why does focusing on happiness sometimes make it disappear?
What if happiness isn't the point at all?
We talk about happiness constantly. We measure it, chase it, optimize for it, and quietly worry that we're doing it wrong. But what if happiness isn't what we think it is? What if our very pursuit of it reveals a fundamental misunderstanding about its nature?
The question becomes more complex when we examine our assumptions. Is happiness a feeling, a judgment about our lives, or something else entirely? Can we pursue it directly, or does it only arrive when we're aimed at something beyond ourselves? And what's the relationship between the happiness we're told to want and what actually makes life feel worth living?
Our conversation will explore:
Is happiness something we find or something that finds us?
What's the difference between happiness, joy, and meaning?
Why does focusing on happiness sometimes make it disappear?
What if happiness isn't the point at all?
Conversation Catalysts
At Premise, a Conversation Catalyst is a short story, essay, film, or poem that sparks reflection and connection. It’s the shared reference point that grounds each session and opens the door to meaningful and deep conversation.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
"Joy" essay by Zadie Smith
"To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller" essay by Arthur C. Brooks
Preparation: < 1.5 hours
%20copy_edited.png)
We examine how meaning, joy, and humility reveal different dimensions of what we call happiness and challenge our assumptions about how to approach it.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
Frankl argues that happiness cannot be pursued—it must ensue as the unintended consequence of dedicating ourselves to something greater than personal satisfaction. Drawing from his experiences in concentration camps and his psychiatric practice, he contends that humans are driven primarily by the search for meaning, not pleasure, and that happiness emerges only when we stop chasing it directly.
_edited.png)
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
"Joy" essay by Zadie Smith
"To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller" essay by Arthur C. Brooks
Preparation: < 1.5 hours
We examine how meaning, joy, and humility reveal different dimensions of what we call happiness and challenge our assumptions about how to approach it.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
Frankl argues that happiness cannot be pursued—it must ensue as the unintended consequence of dedicating ourselves to something greater than personal satisfaction. Drawing from his experiences in concentration camps and his psychiatric practice, he contends that humans are driven primarily by the search for meaning, not pleasure, and that happiness emerges only when we stop chasing it directly.
Conversation Catalysts
At Premise, a Conversation Catalyst is a short story, essay, film, or poem that sparks reflection and connection. It’s the shared reference point that grounds each session and opens the door to meaningful and deep conversation.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
"Joy" essay by Zadie Smith
"To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller" essay by Arthur C. Brooks
Text Set A
Preparation: < 1.5 hours
Session Description
We examine how meaning, joy, and humility reveal different dimensions of what we call happiness and challenge our assumptions about how to approach it.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
Frankl argues that happiness cannot be pursued—it must ensue as the unintended consequence of dedicating ourselves to something greater than personal satisfaction. Drawing from his experiences in concentration camps and his psychiatric practice, he contends that humans are driven primarily by the search for meaning, not pleasure, and that happiness emerges only when we stop chasing it directly.
Frankl's philosophy confronts our culture's relentless focus on happiness as a goal. He asks: What if the pursuit of happiness is precisely what prevents its attainment? How can we maintain hope and find meaning even in unavoidable suffering? What does it mean to be worthy of our suffering?
"Joy" by Zadie Smith
Smith explores joy as something distinct from happiness—fleeting, embodied, and often arriving unbidden in moments that have nothing to do with our plans for a good life. Through intimate reflection, she reveals joy as both ecstatic and painful, arguing that real joy carries within it the seeds of its own loss and that this temporariness is part of what makes it so piercing.
Smith's essay resists the tidy narratives we construct about happiness. She asks: Why do moments of genuine joy often feel bittersweet? What's the difference between happiness as a project we manage and joy as something that ambushes us? Can we make room for joy without trying to manufacture or hold onto it?
"To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller" by Arthur C. Brooks
Brooks challenges the modern assumption that happiness comes from self-expansion, self-focus, and maximizing personal potential. Drawing on philosophy, theology, and social science, he argues that sustainable wellbeing comes not from making ourselves larger but smaller—through humility, service, and commitment to something beyond our own satisfaction.
Brooks's argument questions the foundation of contemporary self-help culture. He asks: Does our emphasis on personal growth actually undermine happiness? What role do self-transcendence and self-forgetting play in human flourishing? How might diminishing the ego paradoxically lead to a richer life?
Text Set A
Preparation: < 1.5 hours
Session Description
We examine how meaning, joy, and humility reveal different dimensions of what we call happiness and challenge our assumptions about how to approach it.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
Frankl argues that happiness cannot be pursued—it must ensue as the unintended consequence of dedicating ourselves to something greater than personal satisfaction. Drawing from his experiences in concentration camps and his psychiatric practice, he contends that humans are driven primarily by the search for meaning, not pleasure, and that happiness emerges only when we stop chasing it directly.
Frankl's philosophy confronts our culture's relentless focus on happiness as a goal. He asks: What if the pursuit of happiness is precisely what prevents its attainment? How can we maintain hope and find meaning even in unavoidable suffering? What does it mean to be worthy of our suffering?
"Joy" by Zadie Smith
Smith explores joy as something distinct from happiness—fleeting, embodied, and often arriving unbidden in moments that have nothing to do with our plans for a good life. Through intimate reflection, she reveals joy as both ecstatic and painful, arguing that real joy carries within it the seeds of its own loss and that this temporariness is part of what makes it so piercing.
Smith's essay resists the tidy narratives we construct about happiness. She asks: Why do moments of genuine joy often feel bittersweet? What's the difference between happiness as a project we manage and joy as something that ambushes us? Can we make room for joy without trying to manufacture or hold onto it?
"To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller" by Arthur C. Brooks
Brooks challenges the modern assumption that happiness comes from self-expansion, self-focus, and maximizing personal potential. Drawing on philosophy, theology, and social science, he argues that sustainable wellbeing comes not from making ourselves larger but smaller—through humility, service, and commitment to something beyond our own satisfaction.
Brooks's argument questions the foundation of contemporary self-help culture. He asks: Does our emphasis on personal growth actually undermine happiness? What role do self-transcendence and self-forgetting play in human flourishing? How might diminishing the ego paradoxically lead to a richer life?
Conversation Catalysts
At Premise, a Conversation Catalyst is a short story, essay, film, or poem that sparks reflection and connection. It’s the shared reference point that grounds each session and opens the door to meaningful and deep conversation.
More conversation catalysts coming soon!
Text Set B
Preparation: < 1.5 hours
Session Description
At Premise, we’re always growing. Our sessions are shaped not only by the enduring questions we ask but also by the ideas and contributions of our participants and Chapter Leaders. We are a constructivist learning community, which means we build our learning experiences together.
More text sets for this question are on the way. Each one will follow our approach: short enough to prepare in under three hours, substantial and thought-provoking enough to spark deep discussion, and accessible to a wide audience.
In the meantime, we’d love to hear from you. If you have a suggestion for a story, essay, film, or poem that belongs here, please share it in the section below.
Text Set A
Preparation: < 1.5 hours
Session Description
We examine how meaning, joy, and humility reveal different dimensions of what we call happiness and challenge our assumptions about how to approach it.
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl (Selected Chapter: "The Case for Tragic Optimism")
Frankl argues that happiness cannot be pursued—it must ensue as the unintended consequence of dedicating ourselves to something greater than personal satisfaction. Drawing from his experiences in concentration camps and his psychiatric practice, he contends that humans are driven primarily by the search for meaning, not pleasure, and that happiness emerges only when we stop chasing it directly.
Frankl's philosophy confronts our culture's relentless focus on happiness as a goal. He asks: What if the pursuit of happiness is precisely what prevents its attainment? How can we maintain hope and find meaning even in unavoidable suffering? What does it mean to be worthy of our suffering?
"Joy" by Zadie Smith
Smith explores joy as something distinct from happiness—fleeting, embodied, and often arriving unbidden in moments that have nothing to do with our plans for a good life. Through intimate reflection, she reveals joy as both ecstatic and painful, arguing that real joy carries within it the seeds of its own loss and that this temporariness is part of what makes it so piercing.
Smith's essay resists the tidy narratives we construct about happiness. She asks: Why do moments of genuine joy often feel bittersweet? What's the difference between happiness as a project we manage and joy as something that ambushes us? Can we make room for joy without trying to manufacture or hold onto it?
"To Get Happier, Make Yourself Smaller" by Arthur C. Brooks
Brooks challenges the modern assumption that happiness comes from self-expansion, self-focus, and maximizing personal potential. Drawing on philosophy, theology, and social science, he argues that sustainable wellbeing comes not from making ourselves larger but smaller—through humility, service, and commitment to something beyond our own satisfaction.
Brooks's argument questions the foundation of contemporary self-help culture. He asks: Does our emphasis on personal growth actually undermine happiness? What role do self-transcendence and self-forgetting play in human flourishing? How might diminishing the ego paradoxically lead to a richer life?